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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28019883">Before You Go</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mx_conception/pseuds/mx_conception'>mx_conception</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Not Another D&amp;D Podcast (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Non-Binary Character, Confessions, Fluff and Light Angst, Getting Together, Other, Proofreading? I don’t know her, Sort Of, The Inherent Eroticism of a Promise</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:54:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,504</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28019883</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mx_conception/pseuds/mx_conception</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zirk returns to the doctor’s office to gather some components and some of his belongings. </p>
<p>Someone is waiting for him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Syb Bonkginya/Zirk Vervain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Before You Go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thornkirk feels calmer, thinks Zirk as he strolls down the cobble street with Spritle buzzing by his ear. </p>
<p>Maybe it’s the death of Fergus Whitlocke that has the town seeming safer. Maybe it’s his sister’s absence. <br/>For the first time in awhile, Zirk is comfortable walking on his own. </p>
<p>It’ll be the last time for awhile, too. </p>
<p>Later that night, Fia, Henry, and he will be sailing down the river for the next big step of their adventure. <br/>To say the least, it’s bittersweet. </p>
<p>Zirk travelled a lot as a kid. He never stayed somewhere long enough to find a friend, except once, which didn’t end so nicely. Sometimes he and his mom were in town for a month. Other times it was a matter of days until they were back on the road. </p>
<p>When he secured his apprenticeship and settled down in Thornkirk, though, he was equal parts thrilled and anxious. It was nice to have a soft place to land at the end of a hard day, instead of just packing it up and moving along. </p>
<p>Well. Zirk now has something like an hour left in this town, so he supposes he’ll “pack it up” as well as he can in a little keelboat. </p>
<p>The keelboat. </p>
<p>Syb. </p>
<p>He tries to shake their face out of his memory as soon as it forms, but it just bubbles back into the same expression they wore when they handed the keys off to Henry. </p>
<p>Zirk wishes he felt less torn up about leaving Syb here alone. </p>
<p>They almost died today. <em>They almost died today<em>, and he almost let it happen. </em></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>But Zirk has to go, doesn’t he? <br/>Something tricky is going on and it feels natural that he go and try to do something about it. Something feels natural about going and trying to fix it with Fia and Henry. </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Zirk sighs and fishes out the key to the front door of the doctor’s office. Just like he’s done a thousand times, he slides it into the keyhole and turns it, hearing the lock creak the way it always has. <br/>He opens the door, and—</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>“Hey, um, hi— I know this looks bad,”</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Seated in one of the waiting-area chairs is Syb, sitting hunched over their folded hands. In the low light Zirk might not have spotted them. </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>“Mercy!” cries Zirk, shocked enough into dropping his key. “Syb, what are you doing here? Wait, no, how did you get in?”</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Syb scratches at the back of their neck, newly sheepish. “Uhhh. That’s not really important.” </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>“I think it kind of—“</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>“Zirk, I really just needed to talk to you. Alone. Before you go.”</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>If Syb’s tone of voice is any indication, it’s an important enough matter that Zirk can ignore their breaking and entering long enough to hear them out. </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Zirk swipes the key from off of the floor and sets it down on a counter before taking a seat in the chair opposite Syb. “Okay, well, we’re talking.”</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Syb sighs, sitting up a little straighter and wringing their hands together. “Right, umm..” their eyes avoid Zirk’s. “I just really wanted to say how, uh, cool you were in that fight today, and, um, in general. Like what you did for me last week?”</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Zirk nods along to what they’re saying, growing increasingly nervous as they don’t seem to be reaching the point to their speech.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>“It’s just. Really fucking cool of you to do that, Zirk, um..” Syb looks up from their hands and glances at Zirk. “What I’m trying to say is, thank you?”</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Zirk does his best to not look too confused. “Yeah, uh, I think I got your message earlier. When you said goodbye to all of us? At the river?”</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Syb shakes their head a little bit. “No, I mean, like, thank <em>you.<em>”</em></em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>Zirk’s face, smeared with puzzlement, does not change. “I mean...yeah.”<br/>After a second too long of silence from Syb, he feels that he should say more. “I mean! You’re welcome. It’s really no problem Syb, we’re friends.” <br/>Zirk resists the urge to tack on an “I think” to that last part. </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>“About that,” says Syb, their gaze returning to their hands. “Um.”<br/>Zirk quirks an eyebrow at them. <br/>“You’re a really cool guy, and you’re really good at magic and stuff. Uhh, and, um, I guess I’m trying to say...”<br/>Their voice trails off. </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>Zirk analyzes and reanalyzes their face, unable to determine anything about their expression. Spritle lands on the brim of his glasses unhelpfully. </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>“I-I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m just kinda attracted to you.” Syb’s words trip all over each other in their hurry to leave their mouth. “I— like, you’re hot?” They try to add, quickly mortified by the way Zirk reacts. Or, rather, doesn’t react. </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>Zirk is <em>stunned<em>. </em></em></em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>A minute that’s more like an eternity passes, with Zirk staring at Syb, empty-eyed. </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>“Just..you know what, forget it, never mind. I’m just gonna leave, actually.” Syb moves to stand from their seat, shame and embarrassment and all the bad red-hot feelings rising in their throat and burning it. </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>They stop in their tracks when Zirk says, “Wait.”<br/>Syb waits, frozen like a deer in headlights. <br/>“Can we..can we talk about it? Syb?”</em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>It’s not a “I’m never coming back to this town ever again and I hate you”, so Syb sits right back down. </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>“You’re attracted to me,” Zirk repeats, hardly believing the words when he says them. “So what does that mean?”</em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>Syb’s face is flushed through and through at this point, so they bury it in their hands so they can bear the ensuing conversation. “What do you mean, what does that mean? I’m..I’m attracted to you.”</em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>Zirk’s heart flutters in a not unpleasant way when he hears this confirmation. “Okay, but how? Romantically? ...sexually?”</em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>God, Syb wishes they hadn’t done this. They should have just let Zirk go off and adventure or whatever and woefully fantasize about how maybe he thought of them between battles, or something.<br/>Nothing in Zirk’s tone implies that he reciprocates their feelings. And come on! It’s fucking embarrassing, the way he’s dissecting their words with his stupid doctoral voice. </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>Despite the growing pit of regret in their gut, Syb says, “Both.” </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>Zirk can’t help a little smile from creeping on. Okay. It’s nice to hear that someone likes him like that. But...<br/>“Well, Syb, I’ll be frank with you. I don’t know if I feel the same way, I guess. But I’m very happy you told me even though you seem absolutely miserable right now!”</em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>Syb lifts their face from their hands to glare at him. “Just— you don’t have to be all nice or whatever about it. Just fucking say it if you don’t feel the same way.”</em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>“No, Syb, I’m serious,” Zirk asserts, laying his hand over onto Syb’s shoulder. Spritle hums and drifts over to their nose. <br/>“I think you’re really cute, I do. And I think you’re a good person, I just..I can’t say with absolute confidence that this all means I’m attracted to you, you know?”</em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>Syb does not know. They nod regardless. <br/>“But! I am deeply tempted to humor your feelings and see how it goes.”</em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>Zirk likes it, the way Syb looks at him with a strange, innocent face. “You’re not bullshitting me.” They say, cautious. </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>“Of course I’m not, Syb. That’s no fun for either of us.” After a moment, Zirk cracks a new smile and jokes, “What could be fun is sending letters back and forth in a tragically romantic sort of tone, don’t you think?”</em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>Syb sneers, not too unkindly. “If you think you’re going to get a weepy, sappy little letter from me every once and awhile,” they sigh. “We’ll just have to see.”  </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>Zirk laughs and reaches for Syb’s hand, pulling it up to his face and giving their knuckles a curt kiss. “We’ll just have to see,” he echoes, watching Syb fluster again. <br/>To retort this somehow, Syb grabs Zirk’s hand and plants a kiss on it. </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>Zirk wants to ask if this is what flirting is actually like, because he doesn’t know, but he does appreciate the gesture. <br/>“I’m going to get my things, and then I have to go, okay?”</em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>After a moment, Zirk also says, “And Syb? I think you’re really sweet. This..I really do want this to work.” <br/>Syb nods silently. </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>Zirk does just that. He gathers a few more bags of components and belongings, and way too soon he and Syb are standing outside the doctor’s office, Spritle the only illumination besides the gas lamps and the moon. </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>Zirk leans down to hug Syb tightly and kisses their hand one more time. “I’ll send the first letter. I promise.”</em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>Spritle flashes a bright golden color to lock this promise in place, right where it is in time and space. This makes Syb smile just barely. Their voice comes out softly when they finally find something to say. </em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <em>
          <em>
            <em>“Okay.”</em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading!<br/>I think about these two :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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